7 June 2006
I was on the bus yesterday by Trafalgar Square and there were two female college students of about 17 or 18 years old opposite me. This is how their conversation went:
Student 1: What's going on there then?
Student 2: They're renovating that tower thing.
Student 1: What, you mean, Nelson's column?
Student 2: Yeah, Nelson's column. Oh, you know we were doing this project at college. We went to that building there with the paintings.
Student 1: You mean, the National Art Gallery?
Student 2: Yeah, the National Art Gallery.
Student 1: So what is that then? Is it an art gallery?
At this point, I mentally slit my wrists and passed out till they had left the bus.
Student 1: What's going on there then?
Student 2: They're renovating that tower thing.
Student 1: What, you mean, Nelson's column?
Student 2: Yeah, Nelson's column. Oh, you know we were doing this project at college. We went to that building there with the paintings.
Student 1: You mean, the National Art Gallery?
Student 2: Yeah, the National Art Gallery.
Student 1: So what is that then? Is it an art gallery?
At this point, I mentally slit my wrists and passed out till they had left the bus.
Labels: London
26 March 2006
There was a dog on the bus yesterday wearing a bowler hat. It was on at a jaunty angle, to one side, with no visible means of support. He looked very comfy, although a little perplexed. Everyone on the bus was looking at him, though trying not to look like they were. He was with a rasta toting a very small trumpet in a case who spoke like Benjamin Zephaniah.
The new children's bookshop, The Neverending Story, has opened in East Dulwich. They're going to have story telling sessions starting in April and piano lessons in the back room. It is quite small and has mainly picture books. The only older children books are the bog standard Harry Potters, Roald Dahls, Jacqueline Wilsons etc. I put in a bid for some books of the old Puffin list ilk in their comments book. Still, it's a nice addition to the neighbourhood.
I note Caffé Nero was heaving with a long queue at the till at about 16:00 yesterday. So much for no one wanting a chain coffee shop in East Dulwich. I think the citizens of East Dulwich are voting with their hard cash. Or all the other coffee shops were full and Caffé Nero had the overspill. And let's face it - they do have soya milk as a substitute for dairy.
The new children's bookshop, The Neverending Story, has opened in East Dulwich. They're going to have story telling sessions starting in April and piano lessons in the back room. It is quite small and has mainly picture books. The only older children books are the bog standard Harry Potters, Roald Dahls, Jacqueline Wilsons etc. I put in a bid for some books of the old Puffin list ilk in their comments book. Still, it's a nice addition to the neighbourhood.
I note Caffé Nero was heaving with a long queue at the till at about 16:00 yesterday. So much for no one wanting a chain coffee shop in East Dulwich. I think the citizens of East Dulwich are voting with their hard cash. Or all the other coffee shops were full and Caffé Nero had the overspill. And let's face it - they do have soya milk as a substitute for dairy.
Labels: east dulwich, London, restaurants
26 February 2006
There seems to be some sort of a Sondheim revival going on. Sunday in the Park with George is transferring to a proper theatre, Assassins is opening in Sheffield and Pacific Overtures at the Leicester Haymarket. Guess we'll be seeing a lot of the middle of England.
The Curse of the Were Rabbit was very funny. There were a lot more filmic references than there were in the other Wallace and Gromit movies. Gromit is very sweet but I don't know why he hangs around with Wallace.
My dance teacher at the gym is away on holiday and we all miss him. The replacement is some kind of a semi-jazz, semi-contemporary teacher but is trying to do street funk and his choreography is a tad naff. It's a good technique class though so shan't complain. Apparently, the teacher is in some programme called Pay Off Your Mortgage in Two Years and teaching is one of his making money schemes. Can't imagine it would do much to pay off his mortgage - not with what our gym pays. Anyway, the BBC may be coming to film next week's class. Not sure that that's a good thing.
Yesterday was blueberry pancakes with maple syrup and a side of bacon for brunch and leftover pad thai, chilli and salt pork choplettes and stir fried broccoli for dinner. And lots of grapes throughout.
London was heaving with tourists yesterday. I hate people. At the cash dispenser some blumming French tourists queuing behind me kept bumping into me and talking loudly. Do they not know that cash dispenser ettiquette demands that they stand a good distance away from the person at the till? Also, it's freezing, snowing and windy in London at the moment. Winter is our only respite from hordes of meandering, stupid, loitering about at all major pedestrian crossroads/through ways, pavement hogging tourists - so what are they all doing here in these Arctic conditions? Sheesh. Obviously London is not expensive enough, the public transport is not crappy enough, the service is not grudging and non-existent enough and the hotels are not rundown, grubby and overpriced enough.
The Curse of the Were Rabbit was very funny. There were a lot more filmic references than there were in the other Wallace and Gromit movies. Gromit is very sweet but I don't know why he hangs around with Wallace.
My dance teacher at the gym is away on holiday and we all miss him. The replacement is some kind of a semi-jazz, semi-contemporary teacher but is trying to do street funk and his choreography is a tad naff. It's a good technique class though so shan't complain. Apparently, the teacher is in some programme called Pay Off Your Mortgage in Two Years and teaching is one of his making money schemes. Can't imagine it would do much to pay off his mortgage - not with what our gym pays. Anyway, the BBC may be coming to film next week's class. Not sure that that's a good thing.
Yesterday was blueberry pancakes with maple syrup and a side of bacon for brunch and leftover pad thai, chilli and salt pork choplettes and stir fried broccoli for dinner. And lots of grapes throughout.
London was heaving with tourists yesterday. I hate people. At the cash dispenser some blumming French tourists queuing behind me kept bumping into me and talking loudly. Do they not know that cash dispenser ettiquette demands that they stand a good distance away from the person at the till? Also, it's freezing, snowing and windy in London at the moment. Winter is our only respite from hordes of meandering, stupid, loitering about at all major pedestrian crossroads/through ways, pavement hogging tourists - so what are they all doing here in these Arctic conditions? Sheesh. Obviously London is not expensive enough, the public transport is not crappy enough, the service is not grudging and non-existent enough and the hotels are not rundown, grubby and overpriced enough.
Labels: dance, films, food, gym, London, theatre
20 February 2006
Well, surprise, surprise... I did get called for the Billy Elliot audition after all. Fortunately, I had the foresight to bring some sheet music into work with me, but no make-up. Had to dash to the gym to practice singing in the studio and then bummed make-up off everyone in the department. The office is a surprisingly make-up free zone. Put on a motley range of green eyeliner, blue eyeshadow and rouge with lip salve for lipstick.
Arrived at the audition to find I was in competition with about 4 Kims and 3 Gigis from Miss Saigon. What was I doing there? I don't know. The only consolation is that I was the only who was actually Chinese and could do a passable Northern (of non-specific area) accent.
Still, I feel actually being able to sing might count for more. The casting director was very nice and said 'Well done... no, really well done'. She said it was nice to see me again as she hadn't seen me for so long. I thought - well, that's because you cast musicals mainly and I can't sing. Anyhow, I didn't disgrace myself and left with dignity replete.
Work was duller than a dull thing in dull land Arizona. I wish I was starting in Billy Elliot tomorrow. Sigh....
On the bus home today, the lady bus driver's voice came over on the tannoy asking, "...the person playing music loudly on their headphones so that it annoys everyone on the bus to please turn it off." She then said, "Or if you're sitting next to the person, please tap them on the shoulder and tell them." It was very gratifying, although a tad big brotherish. She was ignored, of course.
Arrived at the audition to find I was in competition with about 4 Kims and 3 Gigis from Miss Saigon. What was I doing there? I don't know. The only consolation is that I was the only who was actually Chinese and could do a passable Northern (of non-specific area) accent.
Still, I feel actually being able to sing might count for more. The casting director was very nice and said 'Well done... no, really well done'. She said it was nice to see me again as she hadn't seen me for so long. I thought - well, that's because you cast musicals mainly and I can't sing. Anyhow, I didn't disgrace myself and left with dignity replete.
Work was duller than a dull thing in dull land Arizona. I wish I was starting in Billy Elliot tomorrow. Sigh....
On the bus home today, the lady bus driver's voice came over on the tannoy asking, "...the person playing music loudly on their headphones so that it annoys everyone on the bus to please turn it off." She then said, "Or if you're sitting next to the person, please tap them on the shoulder and tell them." It was very gratifying, although a tad big brotherish. She was ignored, of course.
17 November 2005
Poor BB and his friends got accosted by a mad woman in a drug-induced rage at the weekend. They were coming back from Airsoft, when this woman cuts them up and bumps into them from behind. (Luckily, the poor car and they were fine). She storms out of her car, thumps on the driver window and shouts abuse and BB's friend, E. Then stomps back to her car and drives off.
At the next traffic lights, she stops again and stomps back to our car and shouts some more and then stomps off again.
At the NEXT traffic lights she overtakes, stops suddenly in front of them, causing them to bump into her, and then gets out, shouts somemore and starts banging the driver window again. E unwinds the window (rather unwisely I feel), at which point, she starts bitch-slapping him through the window. BB then gets out of the car and she starts shouting that she's going to 'f**king kill them' and that if she had a gun she'd shoot them all dead and that her family were gangsters and she knew our licence plate and would follow them home and get her family to kill them.
At this point BB calls the police. The mad woman then looks like she's going to drive away several times, but thinks better of it as they have her licence plate. When the police arrives, she starts accusing BB of hitting her and screaming and saying she's from Ghana and has no passport and all kinds of lunatic abuse.
At which point, some Chinese woman jumps out of her car and starts asking BB and friends for directions to Streatham Hill station. After receiving blank and rather bemused expressions from them, she then asks the police woman, who looks at her in pretty much the same way, before saying she'll deal with her later. The Chinese woman then flags down a black cab and gets her directions that way.
Back to mad woman - of course, she has no insurance. What a surprise. Police woman tells BB he should exchange details with mad woman. BB pretty much says 'no way' as a) she has no insurance so it's pointless and b) she's mad. So the police woman says if that they are happy to drive on then they can go. BB says, 'Isn't it an offence not to have insurance?'. The police woman says yes, but to leave that to her. Last thing they hear is mad woman offering the police the names of two crack dealers in exchange for letting her off.
What is the world coming to. I hope they deport her.
At the next traffic lights, she stops again and stomps back to our car and shouts some more and then stomps off again.
At the NEXT traffic lights she overtakes, stops suddenly in front of them, causing them to bump into her, and then gets out, shouts somemore and starts banging the driver window again. E unwinds the window (rather unwisely I feel), at which point, she starts bitch-slapping him through the window. BB then gets out of the car and she starts shouting that she's going to 'f**king kill them' and that if she had a gun she'd shoot them all dead and that her family were gangsters and she knew our licence plate and would follow them home and get her family to kill them.
At this point BB calls the police. The mad woman then looks like she's going to drive away several times, but thinks better of it as they have her licence plate. When the police arrives, she starts accusing BB of hitting her and screaming and saying she's from Ghana and has no passport and all kinds of lunatic abuse.
At which point, some Chinese woman jumps out of her car and starts asking BB and friends for directions to Streatham Hill station. After receiving blank and rather bemused expressions from them, she then asks the police woman, who looks at her in pretty much the same way, before saying she'll deal with her later. The Chinese woman then flags down a black cab and gets her directions that way.
Back to mad woman - of course, she has no insurance. What a surprise. Police woman tells BB he should exchange details with mad woman. BB pretty much says 'no way' as a) she has no insurance so it's pointless and b) she's mad. So the police woman says if that they are happy to drive on then they can go. BB says, 'Isn't it an offence not to have insurance?'. The police woman says yes, but to leave that to her. Last thing they hear is mad woman offering the police the names of two crack dealers in exchange for letting her off.
What is the world coming to. I hope they deport her.
Labels: London
29 October 2005
They shouldn't allow smelly people on buses.
Had an interminable bus journey last night on the way back from the gym. The congestion charge has apparently forced people to drive in town only on Friday nights thus making my already incredibly tedious bus journey even longer.
And then, from Camberwell to Dulwich, was forced to hold my breath and breathe through my mouth, due to incredibly smelly person sat next to me. How can a person not be aware that they smell very strongly of really old socks? This was compounded by his leaning closer every now and then to see how I was getting on with my Sudoku.
He even outsmelled my kangkong belachan that I was taking home for dinner. And that's saying something.
I wonder why no one has invented a "Smellometer" that can measure intensity of smells, and someone who goes over a certain limit is banned from public places. That includes people who wear too much perfume/aftershave. Mmmm, that would be nice.
Had an interminable bus journey last night on the way back from the gym. The congestion charge has apparently forced people to drive in town only on Friday nights thus making my already incredibly tedious bus journey even longer.
And then, from Camberwell to Dulwich, was forced to hold my breath and breathe through my mouth, due to incredibly smelly person sat next to me. How can a person not be aware that they smell very strongly of really old socks? This was compounded by his leaning closer every now and then to see how I was getting on with my Sudoku.
He even outsmelled my kangkong belachan that I was taking home for dinner. And that's saying something.
I wonder why no one has invented a "Smellometer" that can measure intensity of smells, and someone who goes over a certain limit is banned from public places. That includes people who wear too much perfume/aftershave. Mmmm, that would be nice.
Labels: London
16 October 2005
Yesterday, while I was sitting at the bus stop at Elephant & Castle on the way to the gym, minding my own business doing Sudoku, a large black woman came and sat next to me. A few seconds later, having obviously decided that I was blocking her view of oncoming buses, she got up and moved to the other side of me. But as there wasn't enough room on the bench, she decided to move me out of the way by practically sitting on top of me. Automatically, my first inclination was to scooch over, but then I thought, "Wait a minute, I was here first", so I sat firm. So I'm sitting there squashed up shoulder-to-shoulder with this obnoxious stranger. Then she tried to bump me over with her big bottom, but I wouldn't budge. So then she lights up and tries to move me out of the way with her hideous cigarette smoke, and then (!!), elbows me. At which point, I'm about to look up from my Sudoku and snap ungraciously at her. But then, this smarmy guy comes up and sits on the other side of me and says in a lascivious manner, "Hi! Good morning", whilst smirking horribly.
GOOD GOD! Can't you people leave me to do my Sudoku in peace?
Fortunately, the bus came just then before I could slug them both with my gym kit...
GOOD GOD! Can't you people leave me to do my Sudoku in peace?
Fortunately, the bus came just then before I could slug them both with my gym kit...
Labels: London
9 September 2005
I wish there were still German Shepherds on the roof of the local garden centre. It was nice to see them wandering around up there. I hope they're not dead.
Labels: London
30 May 2005
12 February 2005
To the dump
Spent today doing chores which have been putting off for a very long time. All to a backdrop of rain, hail, sun, wind and other seasonal pleasures.
Driver's wing mirror on car has been vandalised and doesn't stay in place - except with judicious amount of Blu Tack. Even then have to adjust the mirror at every traffic light. Grrr, @£%^&* vandals. This after having driver's window broken at Christmas. I hope God vandalises the dark teatime of their souls. (Though I suspect that's happened already.)
First, off to ParcelForce in Greenwich - always a delight. They said they only had one parcel but on checking tonight find they have two. So, have to go back. Hurrah.
Then to B&Q where we were charged outrageous sums of money for eco-friendly lightbulbs. Ah, environmental friendliness - the pastime of the wealthy. Looked at expensive electronic equipment in Comet and then left. Went into Teletubby Sainsbury's and bought soul-soothing sustenance instead.
Next stop, home and then loaded car up with a shopload of deceased computer equipment. At the dump we were surrounded by the insidious hovering of weirdos waiting to make off limping and drooling with their spoils. This is why we don't go to the dump often.
Home via the scenic route - housing estates of Camberwell. At least it avoids the Walworth Road.
Then we got home to see the suspicious Paramedic Ambulance that has been parked opposite the flat for several weeks has moved - to our side of the road. Keep giving its occupants the evil eye but they seem impervious.
Driver's wing mirror on car has been vandalised and doesn't stay in place - except with judicious amount of Blu Tack. Even then have to adjust the mirror at every traffic light. Grrr, @£%^&* vandals. This after having driver's window broken at Christmas. I hope God vandalises the dark teatime of their souls. (Though I suspect that's happened already.)
First, off to ParcelForce in Greenwich - always a delight. They said they only had one parcel but on checking tonight find they have two. So, have to go back. Hurrah.
Then to B&Q where we were charged outrageous sums of money for eco-friendly lightbulbs. Ah, environmental friendliness - the pastime of the wealthy. Looked at expensive electronic equipment in Comet and then left. Went into Teletubby Sainsbury's and bought soul-soothing sustenance instead.
Next stop, home and then loaded car up with a shopload of deceased computer equipment. At the dump we were surrounded by the insidious hovering of weirdos waiting to make off limping and drooling with their spoils. This is why we don't go to the dump often.
Home via the scenic route - housing estates of Camberwell. At least it avoids the Walworth Road.
Then we got home to see the suspicious Paramedic Ambulance that has been parked opposite the flat for several weeks has moved - to our side of the road. Keep giving its occupants the evil eye but they seem impervious.
Labels: London
