Life in Dulwich

I now have two good reasons for having put on weight in my later years.

1. I don't shiver so much when it's cold.

2. I had an audition yesterday in which we had to play a game where whilst reading the script, I had to hold onto the other actor while she tried to get away simultaneously. The actress I was working with was insane and hadn't seemed to grasp the idea that when acting, you should try to avoid killing your fellow actors by generally kicking, punching or bashing them on the head in an effort to fulfil your objective of getting away. So I used my superior weight to sit on her...

The world's local bank sucks.

I had to get a bank letter stamped today so I could open our new business mobile phone account. Just to check, I phoned my branch which is in Canary Wharf to check if I could take the letter into any branch to get it stamped. They said any branch would do it but if there were any problems, I could take it to them.

So, I went to the Covent Garden branch which is the nearest to the office. They said they were no longer authorised to stamp documents but I could get it stamped at the Oxford Circus branch. 'Is that the closest branch that will do it?' I asked. 'I don't know', was the reply, 'but they'll definitely do it'.

So off I traipse to Oxford Circus to find the branch is closed for refurbishment until the end of August.

Okay....

Then, I call telephone banking to ask them where the next nearest branch is where I can get it stamped. The guy pulls up a list of branches. Are you near Edgware Road? No. London Road? No. He says that he has a list of London branches but can't tell me which is near me. I say that I know where the nearby London branches are but I need to know which will stamp my letter. He asks which is the next nearest to me. Regent Street say I. He puts me on hold so he can call the branch.

5 minutes later I decide it would probably be quicker to walk to Regent Street. He finally gets back to me just as I reach the Regent Street branch. Sorry, I can't get through. Never mind, I'm outside there now, I say and politely hang up as I have little time for his apologies.

Regent Street branch says that company policy is that they no longer stamp letters. Is there anywhere else that will do it, I say. No - no branches are supposed to do it.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!

I stay to see a customer relationship manager to see what else I can do, even though they tell me I have a 22-30 minute wait. I've come so far, 22-30 minutes means nothing to me. I could do with the rest.

The customer relationship manager tells me the same thing. I have a rant and then phone the telephone provider. They tell me that they checked with their head office and because I had provided them with all the other paperwork so efficiently, the requirement to have a stamped letter has been waived.

At that point, if I had had a gun I might have shot myself. Or possibly everyone else.

I had a captive audience of five to nine year old boys on the bus today. I was playing BrickBreaker on my BlackBerry and the boy next to me exclaimed, "Oh my gosh! She's got a game that my Dad has on his phone!" At this, about five other boys crowded around trying to see.

From thence on the first little boy kept advising me to catch things, punctuated by "Oh my gosh! My dad has reached that level!", "Oh my gosh! My dad hasn't reached that level!", "Oh my gosh, she's good!"

One of the mothers commented that if she had been on the bus experiencing these children, she probably wouldn't have had any. I didn't feel I could agree without offending her.

The smallest one must have been going through his 'just discovered his mouth' phase. He tried to eat one of the other one's shoes, some old chewing gum off the floor and my bag. It was very funny.

I'm being coerced to write my blog.

So....

1. Went to New York ages ago. Ate in very good restaurant and so-so restaurant. I'm halfway through writing about very good one but we had the 10 course tasting menu, so I'm bracing myself - although BB says I don't need to write about every course.

The so-so restaurant was okay but didn't leap out at us and the waitress lied to my friend, P, who wanted their special churro-type dessert and was told it was sold out and then we blatantly saw the table next to us get four portions of it after we'd finished and paid the bill.

Our hotel, The Dylan, was not bad, cheap for New York and ideally placed for Midtown (right by Grand Central Station and 5th Avenue). It was also near an authentic diner which wasn't horribly touristy and pricey. The diner was sort of nearer the W Hotel around the corner on 7th I think. They were friendly, service was great and cheap, cheap, cheap. Apparently the diners are dying out due to rising rents. I hope ours is still there when we go back because it was much better than Pershing Square at Grand Central.

2. I've started in my new job. We're in lovely offices just off the Strand, near Chinatown, Covent Garden, my gym and cuts about 1/2 hour off my commute each way. Hurrah!

3. I have sciatica, tendonitis in both ankles, a dodgy knee, a bit of arthiritis in my big toe and very tight calf muscles. This could be because I have been to the dance class 5 times a week for the last 3 weeks. I think I have to swim all next week to let my legs rest a bit.

4. I listened to ChinesePod for 7 hours everyday for the last month before we got into our new offices. My Mandarin, I think, is better as a result. I wish I could listen to ChinesePod all day in the office.

5. Eek, I forgot - I have an audition tomorrow and I haven't got my outfit sorted out and it's nearly midnight.

6. We had Polish food for lunch today. I like beef stroganoff and pancakes.

7. We went to the China Now! exhibition at the V&A. I bought BB a soft toy AK-47 in camouflage fabric. He is now trying on all his army gear. I got a mug.

8. We ate at the restaurant in Whiteleys, which I've meant to try for ages. It was so-so. Chicken was dry apparently. The starters were good though.

9. Black Cherry, our local favourite haunt, does fantastic specials at the weekend. I've had the fish and chips, skate wing with capers and black pudding with poached egg. All good.

10. All the Chinese delivery places around East Dulwich seem to be closed on Sundays. I phoned 5 before we found one that was open. Obviously they make a good living from the good burghers of East Dulwich.

11. We ate minced pork that was about 10 days old from the local butcher which always has long queues outside it. It was perfectly good and didn't smell bad or release a lot of water. That is why there are long queues outside it all the time.

And that's all I can remember from the last month. Oh - I've played over 1000 games of Scrabulous on Facebook. That's how sad I am....

I was champion of the league I'm in in our first tournament though!